NFL, Yay, sports!

New Year-New Blog

This blog is brought to you today by DayQuil, so apologies in advance for any nonsense. **Not that any of you actually come here for hardcore breaking news**

Any-hoo, we’re all back from our Christmas/NY break, and I still don’t know what day it is. One thing I do know is that at some point you will be watching football this weekend.

It’s Wild Card weekend in the NFL aka the first round of the playoffs. Think of it as the first cocktail party on the Bachelor, but instead of saying “Can I steal you for a second?” 300lb men are trying to give each other CTE.

When you inevitably break your dry January pledge for Happy Hour tonight don’t be alarmed when you wake up and see NFL on the TV and think you Rip van Winkle’d through Saturday, as the NFL has two games slated for Saturday and two on Sunday.


Game 1

Indianapolis Colts

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Houston Texans

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Texas Forever.

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The first picture (Colts QB Andrew Luck) has a hilarious twitter account devoted them.

The second picture (Texans Defensive End) raised millions of dollars to the Houston Hurricane relief fund AND has a Tim Riggins sweatshirt on.

DWEB pick: Houston by a landslide

Game 2

Seattle Seahawks @ Dallas Cowboys. This game starts @ 8:15 and you’ll be drunk by the time you get to the bar that has it on and I’m not wasting my breathe.

If you really want to impress someone with a fun fact, talk about how the Cowboys owner Jerry Jones always has a tumbler of whiskey on him at all times, including but not limited the winter NFL owners meetings.


Game 1

Los Angeles Chargers

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came thru drippin’

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Baltimore Ravens

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Believe that.

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The first picture (Chargers’ QB Philip Rivers) just had his EIGHTH child.

The second picture (Raven’s Rookie QB Lamar Jackson) got the starting nod after it was finally established (after much debate) that long time QB Joe Flacco is in fact NOT elite.

DWEB pick: Chargers. PR needs all the game checks he can get to support that brood. Also, I don’t support murderers and the Ravens have a statue devoted to one outside of their arena.

Game 2

Philadelphia Eagles


Chicago Bears

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The first picture’s (Eagles QB* Carson Wentz) uncanny resemblance to Prince Harry the only redeeming quality of the trash city’s football team. Well that and I guess all of the charity work Chris Long does in Africa, but whatever.

The second picture (Bears QB Mitch Trubisky) used to have a very funny twitter account :

DWEB pick:   DaBears by 150 touchdowns. I am still not over how the Eagles ripped my heart out last February, put it in a blender and then fed it to the pigeons outside of Lincoln Financial Field.

Enjoy your last few hours of Dry January, because honestly what else is there to do on a rainy cold weekend in Boston than sit on a barstool, drink and complain?

Don’t forget to follow us on twitter and instagram. I had a REAL good makeup & profanity  free rant after the Pats game two weeks ago. You don’t want to miss the next one

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